Ever Feeling Lost

Do you ever find yourself wondering through life trying to find your feet and not knowing who you are or what you want!?

Well I think many of us can agree, and we have all probably felt lost at times, not sure what direction or route to go down and we look for all the signs and signals as to what path to take. Being in the late 20's myself I do believe that these are the toughest years. Your trying to grow as a person, find a job that you are passionate about, create a good future for yourself and your family and on top of that trying to follow and fit into the structured society that rules our lives today.

Lets go back to when we are young, we are told to go to school and do well, we are then asked to pick subjects that we have an interest in and go to university all at such a young age, but who actually fully knows what they want to do when they are 16/17 years old and why is it pushed on us during a time when we are not quite mature enough to make those big decisions! Did you know exactly what you wanted to do? Are you still doing it now?

Social Media has also impacted today's society, I have a love hate relationship with social media. Yes it is an awesome business tool and a great way to express ones self, get exposure and help other people. But the downside of it is you only see the good side of people's lives, which can create a skewed self-image. We post pictures of us looking perfect and share the good news. We never post pictures of ourselves through the bad times like when someone we love leaves, when we lose a job or when we are just having a really bad day! We never share the bad news that always clouds our lives. We are always comparing ourselves with other people, how have they got this, how do they afford to do that and I think social media has played a huge part in this. We should all just be lucky that we are alive and that we exist and grateful for what we have. 

Being a Virgo I am very critical of oneself, and I also get that annoying voice in my head that tells me "You can't do that" "Why would anyone listen to you" YES THAT VOICE! The nasty negative one that we all let take control of our thoughts everyday! It is a voice that has grown increasingly stronger over the years as a result of being around the wrong influences, thinking the wrong thoughts, developing the wrong philosophy and making the wrong decisions.

Why do we think negatively when we know better?
Because thinking negatively, expecting “the worst,” seeing the downside of positive situations, and even downright expecting failure, all convey a kind of backwards-thinking, emotional insurance policy.  It goes something like, “If I expect a tragedy, then I won’t be disappointed when it takes place.”
Our desire to want to be right is another common reason we subconsciously choose negative thinking.  Sometimes, as foolish as it sounds, we would rather be right about our negative predictions than have a positive outcome prove us wrong. We can never totally eradicate all our negative thoughts but we can effectively silence this destructive influence by developing a sound philosophy and a positive attitude about life and our future.
Here is a guide that has helped me wash out those nasty thoughts and might help you lead a more positive and fulfilled life.
1. Pick up some personal development books
There are so many books out there that people have all ready written for us, they can help with your happiness, health, wealth and teach us how to get the life we want AND guess what, it also costs absolutely nothing to sign up to a library near you, where you have unlimited amount of free books which you can read each month!! If you have absolutely no idea where to start here are a few icons of mine that I have learnt from and found very useful in my day to day life:
Jim Rohn (legend)- Any of his books are very helpful, I particularly like "7 Strategies for Wealth and Happiness" and "Leading an Inspired life" His CD "The Art of Exceptional living" is also very inspiring! You can find these here Jim Rohn Books 
Tony Robbins- He has built a hugely successful name for himself and helped changed so many peoples life's on his journey. He has also worked with celebrities and parliament members, you can watch his YouTube videos and feel inspired! A good book to start with is "Awaken The Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Life Tony Robbins Books
Napoleon Hill- He is an American self-help author. He is known best for his book "Think and Grow Rich" which is among the 10 best selling self-help books of all time. Napoleon Hill Books

2. Positive Thinking and creating a new philosophy

How can we change our personal philosophy? An effective way to change your personal philosophy is slowly. Do one discipline at a time. You want to avoid overwhelming yourself. Disciplines would be, reading a book to study what you are failing in, getting up earlier, creating a journal and writing your goals and things you want to achieve. Each discipline practised everyday will then become a habit.

Your decision and actions under you current philosophy are done effortlessly. It's already a habit. It did not happen overnight, but was embedded over the last few years, day by day. There is only one way to turn that around. For example if you are in financial trouble, you need to study your finances, pick up a book and read about how to improve them. You need to find the cause of the problem. You need to cut out the actions that are not contributing to your overall financial success. 

Are you over budget each month? Are you spending money poorly? Are you saving any money from your income? Focus on what you want and this will then help to change your philosophy. Instead you have to know that your current philosophy is not generating desired results so begin to focus on the results you want.  If you fail to make any change and continue to run the same pattern of poor judgment You will never get out of that trap that you find yourself in! I A good Book to help change your philosophy and set those disciplines in your life is The Miracle Morning : The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod
I also believe in the law of attraction, and we attract everything we have. All the negative thoughts and bad situations that we have in our lives are drawn to us through our own mental state. But if there was a way to change that, and a way to lead a happier life style would you follow the rules and stick to disciplines to create that new path? A book that I love is The Secret by Rhonda Byrne Byrne cites a three-step process to achieve: ask, believe, and receive. This book can change a person's life. If you use the principles given in this book and belief in yourself. Positive thinking can take you a long way, and I know everyone has bad days its natural to but try not to let them take over your mind-set and learn techniques to let the negative thoughts go and the positive thoughts lead.
I do think we should all give ourselves a pat on the back more often, give yourself a compliment every day. When you wake up in the morning set the day right think and of daily affirmations so when you get out of bed and take your first step each step shout out that affirmation, for example "I am thankful and grateful to be alive" or "This is a good day. This is going to be a really good day." Saying things like this will set your day of straight and you will have a positive outlook.

3. Mindfulness and Meditation 

Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we're doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what's going on around us. 
Meditation is a practice where an individual operates or trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness to allow the mind to engage in peaceful thoughts. Meditation is often used to clear the mind, reduce stress,  promote relaxation or train the mind. Practise meditation, introduce it slowly into your life, could be once a month or once a week and just start by meditating either before you go to bed or in the morning. It can be anything from 10 minutes long to 30 minutes long. There are lots of brilliant Apps and Books that can guide you on how to meditate or there are plenty or websites and blogs where you can learn all about mindfulness.

Try not to take on too much at a time, I would introduce everything slowly and learn and then you can develop as a more fulfilled person. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day or a week, life gets in the way but just set yourself some you time and pick up where you left off. 
You are all doing a fantastic job, I'll leave you with a quote that my boyfriend sent me once during the times when I was letting my negative voice control my emotions.

Do you think you are going No Where in Life?
Take a deep breathe
New York is three hours ahead of California, but that does not make California slow.
Cameroon is six  hours ahead of New York but it does not make New York slow.
Someone graduated from college at 22 but waited five years before securing a job.
Someone became a CEO at 25 but died at 50.
Someone became a CEO at 50 but lived to 90 years.
Someone is still single,
While another is married with children.
Obama retired at 55,
& Trump started at 70
Everyone in this world works based on their time zone. 
People around you might seem to be ahead of you, & some might seem to be behind you.
But everyone is running their own race, in their own time.
They are in their time zone, and you are in yours.
Life is about waiting for the right moment to act
So, relax.
You're not late.
You're not early.

You are very much on time.



  1. Love this chick! Very inspiring. It's so damn easy to think negatively now days. The best thing I did was surround myself in brand new people, new tribes new vibes n'all !
    That's also so much easier to do now days than it ever was, I started volunteering with a company called the wave project, such an inspiring bunch of women and I can never thank them enough for how beautiful they are inside and out !! I discovered them on social media and I'm so thankful!
    Lovely words to read and live by. Best of luck with your blog! X

    1. Hello Lovely, thank you for this comment. For some reason it went into my spam, thanks so much !! Thats very kind of you :) and glad it inspired you!! Yes defiantly 100% agree, always surround yourself by people that lift you no need for negativity in your life thats for sure. Nice thats so good, two of my friends sometimes volunteer there as well, I have heard good things about The wave project, nice to hear you are enjoying it too. Thats brilliant, the power of social media hey haha. Thanks my love means a lot, hoping to build it up :D hope all is well your end and Happy New Year!! Take care xx

  2. Love this chick! Very inspiring. It's so damn easy to think negatively now days. The best thing I did was surround myself in brand new people, new tribes new vibes n'all !
    That's also so much easier to do now days than it ever was, I started volunteering with a company called the wave project, such an inspiring bunch of women and I can never thank them enough for how beautiful they are inside and out !! I discovered them on social media and I'm so thankful!
    Lovely words to read and live by. Best of luck with your blog! X


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